“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” —Herman Hesse
CHANGE CAN BE hard especially when life seems to be “good enough.” In the pursuit of becoming all that we are capable of, we can be faced with a decision to stay or go. To stay is safe and secure and as humans, we like that. To go is a risk and the outcomes are uncertain and we are less comfortable with this. Why rock the boat? We can continue doing what we are doing. Stay safe and certain. However we may find ourselves in the Henry David Thoreau quote of living a life of quiet desperation.
Do you feel like life is calling you for more? Are you playing it safe? In order to grow, we must continue to challenge the “good enough.” We need to ask questions like: How could my life be even better? What more is out there for me? How can I fully live into my passions? We will never know how awesome life can be if we stay comfortable and do not take the opportunity to be courageous!
“You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both.” - Dr. Brené Brown
CHOOSING COURAGE OVER COMFORT
As a facilitator of Dr. Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly ™ and Rising Strong™ curriculums, I find myself being challenged by her work in my own life. Who we are is how we live, love, and lead. I want to be the person that strives to fulfill my dreams, desires, and purpose. This is often easier said than done because growth usually means discomfort. To step into something new can feel risky. We can feel emotionally exposed because there are no guarantees that the new situation will work out. This is what Brené’s research defines as vulnerability.
Living into this work over the last four years, I have come to realize that vulnerability and courage are two sides of the same coin. Think of a time in your life when you were courageous. Were you also vulnerable? Now think of a time when you were vulnerable. I bet that took courage too. Many people think that vulnerability is a weakness and yet this is a myth.
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity.” – Dr. Brené Brown
TO BE VULNERABLE IS TO BE OPEN AND FEEL EXPOSED
Many people have been vulnerable in their lives and have been burned and so they say, “I’ll never do that again!” Then the armor goes up to protect and they are safe. The problem with this is that they are also alone. As humans, we are hard wired for love, connection, and belonging so being alone does not serve us well. This can lead to depression, anxiety, and many other physical and psychological limitations.
For vulnerability to feel good, we need to establish healthy boundaries – to consciously decide what is ok and what is not ok. One of the cornerstone’s of Dr. Brown’s research is that we can be truly vulnerable when we share with others that have earned the right to hear our story. When we have trust and safety in a relationship then we can expose our deepest hopes and dreams and this kind of vulnerability feels good.
So what’s holding you back from moving into your biggest, boldest self? For many it can be the emotions of fear and shame. The bad news is that these emotions will never go away. The good news is that we can learn to become shame resilient and hold fear and bravery at the same time. In doing this, we can address these emotions vs. stuffing them. E-motions = energy in motion. When we try to push emotions down it is like trying to hold a beach ball under water. We can only hold it for so long before it pops up. What would your world look and feel like if you embraced all of your emotions (even the ones that do not feel good)? What if you were able to harness the wisdom that your emotions are trying to convey?
All of this and more is waiting for you at MoxieQuest! Jump into your life fully and explore what is out there for you. As your adventure coach, I will join you on your journey and assist you through the patches where you get stuck. Our work together is confidential and I will support and challenge to become your biggest, boldest self!
Jenny Peterson, PhD, PCC, Adventure Coach, MoxieQuest. firstname.lastname@example.org